January 15, 2011

In last week's article I shared that the word "joy" is used by some neuroscientists to describe what happens in a person's brain after "being with someone who is glad to be with them." I gave a few illustrations and then ended the update with the following words: "Consider telling someone this week that you are glad to be with them.....it will make an unexpected difference in their life."

Having said that, it was very interesting to recall an edition of the Orlando Sentinel from a s few years ago that carried the headline: "Poll: Joys of youth rooted at home." The article (and there was a more extensive follow on article in a later edition) shared the results of an Associated Press-MTV poll. Let me provide excerpts from both articles:

So you're between the ages of 13 and 24. What makes you happy? A worried, weary parent might imagine the answer to sound something like this: Sex, drugs, a little rock'n'roll. Maybe some cash or at least the car keys.

Turns out the real answer is quite different.

Spending time with family was the top answer to that open-ended question, according to a survey -- more than 100 questions were asked of 1,280 people ages 13 to 24. Nearly 75 percent of those polled said their relationship with their parents made them happy -- followed by spending time with friends and then a significant other. And 55 percent said religion is either a very important part of life or the most important thing.

When asked what one thing makes them happiest, almost no one in the poll mentioned money or anything material.

Although the results of this poll might be surprising to many folks, they would not be to the authors of, "The Life Model: Living From The Heart That Jesus Gave You"  (Shepherd's House, Inc, 2004). Consider their observations.

Life makes sense and is empowered by joy when people are in relationship with those who love them and are sincerely "glad to be with them." Because joy is relational, it is also a contagious experience. Joy is produced when someone is "glad to see me", which stirs up  a bit of joy in me. Then my joy is returned and the giver's joy is increased as well. This experience goes back-and-forth at amazingly fast rates -- six cycles per second in a nonverbal, face-to-face exchange -- all the time growing a stronger "joy" between both people.

Joy also comes from being in a relationship with God. Throughout the Bible it is established that a powerful joy comes from a relationship with God who knows everything about me and is still "as-glad-as-glad-can-get" to be with me. Now, when ancient Biblical authors inspired by God, and 21st century neuroscientists propelled by knowledge all agree that joy comes through powerful relationships, we know there is something profoundly important to be learned from this.

Absolutely. God, neuroscientists and 1,280 young people are all saying the same thing: "Consider telling someone this week that you are glad to be with them.....it will make an unexpected difference in their life."