January 8, 2012

Joy. Interestingly, this is the word some neuroscientists use to describe the complex interaction and sensation that occurs in the brain as an individual experiences "being with someone who is glad to be with them." And those same scientists see a direct correlation between the amount of joy a person has available ("capacity for joy") and that person's ability to endure and bounce back from the challenges and disappointments in life. Accordingly, if a person experiences few (or no) people who are "glad to be with them," life tends to be pretty overwhelming and tough. Conversely, if a person is around some (or many) people who are glad to be with them just because they are them, they will display a wonderful resiliency and enjoyment of life.

During the last weeks of December, I was privileged to watch three very beautiful couples...my special friends Judd and Jana, who had come from Washington DC as a surprise Christmas gift; my son Mike and his girlfriend Kendra, who had traveled from Athens, GA to be with family; and my daughter Danielle and her husband Jason. In moments when they were not aware I was watching, it was fascinating to watch these couples share their lives. It was as if there was no one else in the room but them. They were totally enthralled and focused on one another, laughing, smiling, gently touching one another, oblivious to anyone else in the room. It was a perfect picture of joy......they were simply glad to be with one another.  At any moment baby Karis could have started crying, or Jason could have been called out to investigate a robbery.....but it would not have mattered. In that moment they only had eyes for one another and the joy of knowing how much the other was glad to be with them was enough.

During one of the last sessions I had before my Christmas break the woman sitting across the table was telling me about a worship time she had experienced with Jesus. She had been recounting all the gifts and blessings the Lord had bestowed on her and it tearfully overwhelmed her to realize how much He loved and cared for her. So in her time of personal worship she brought all those things in her hands, so to speak, and began thanking Him for all of them. In the midst of her praise she sensed the Lord telling her to put all those things down. She hesitated for a moment, wondering why He might ask her to release these praiseworthy objects. Then He explained to her that, although He was pleased to have provided all those things in her life, even they were hindering her from realizing and experiencing "how glad He was just to be with her." And He desired that she simply be glad to be with Him, gifts and blessings aside. That would be true and unfading joy in her life.

I think that for some folks who come for pastoral ministry it is the first time in a long time (perhaps ever) that they get to experience someone who is truly glad to be with them just because they are them. That alone is often the key for them to begin stepping out on the path of healing as it increases their capacity for joy to have another human be glad to with them. But it remains our desire and goal to help people recognize and experience the One who is always and totally glad to be with them.  Once a person makes that connection the "capacity for joy" becomes unlimited.

Consider telling someone this week that you are glad to be with them.....it will make an unexpected difference in their life.