Have you ever observed someone who has the potential to land their dream job at the end of just one more interview – but unexpectedly cancels the interview?
Or someone who is in what seems to be a great relationship – and then breaks up for no apparent reason?
We wonder, “What were they thinking?!” In some cases, I think I know – and it goes like this:
“If people knew how defective I really am, they would reject me, and I would lose the good things in my life. Better for me to sabotage my blessings than to receive them and have them taken away by someone else.”
If you asked them what they were thinking, the answer more than likely would be, “I don’t know.” While they think that to be true, the reality is we do not do anything without a reason; however, the reason may need some reflection and discussion to uncover. Regrettably, many people choose to stick with “I don’t know” rather than expose the root of their thoughts and actions – and are, therefore, destined to repeat the pattern.
When folks sabotage an otherwise healthy and balanced relationship, it is quite possible that they think it would be better never to experience the joy of unconditional love than to have it and then lose it. So with attitudes and behaviors, they drive the wonderful person out of their life – and then cover it with, “God knows I tried!” or “If only things were different!”
I have shared with a number of individuals in the last few weeks who are experiencing this very thing. Some have opened up and made themselves available to Jesus at the deepest point of pain about their “defectiveness” and have received freeing truth.
Others have chosen to continue the confusing walk of sabotage. Perhaps there is a fear that if Jesus knew how defective they really are that He would reject them and they would lose even that relationship. Wow, sabotaging the relationship with even Jesus. Thankfully, Jesus always waits.